It's like talking to a brick wall lol. This could go on all night so i'll just leave it at that I think. Just one last thing, trust seems to be the main issue with yourself which I agree with however you need to be open to trust for it to work.
When your getting the legal threats and dealing with people who appear to make you guilty by association you'll understand why we are reluctant. We don't need the grief.
The time effort and money involved to properly administer any kind of secure system and checking up on the details given makes it an impossible task. Regardless of how other forums do it, that's their choice.
Until you do it for yourself and get all the unnecessary stress it causes then I'm sure we'll take heed of your valued pearls of wisdom.