The bong is more a Knock Knock Sound as mentioned, I believe this can be turned on and off via the infotainment system.
As for the System startup, yes all apps load and are accessible within 1 minute this is something to do with the software itself that may be intervening with the turn on and off of the lights. Cupra should be working on a fix but i believe that there is another update that can be done at the Dealership takes approx. 4 hrs. mine can be glitchy with the front lights not turning on when you get in the car but sometimes it does its weird but doesn't bother me as mentioned I can turn them on if needed and the back ones come on so you get to see something on a dark night.
My cars going to Cupra tomorrow for another instance of my heating not working 2 weeks ago which has automatically "Fixed" itself, (this was when it was cold and wet) and since we are facing another night of this it may start again otherwise I can only show them some video footage of this nightmare im thinking 2022 Cupra have to hire some decent software engineers to update these things.