So I’ve got myself a Cupra Terramar. Yes, it has voice commands. Are they brilliant? Not quite. They’re about as intuitive as a toaster trying to play jazz. Honestly, the original Formentor had a far more civilised setup sleek, responsive, and didn’t sound like it was trying to guess what I wanted via séance.
Now here’s the odd bit: every now and then, the car’s voice assistant pipes up with a very polite but unexpected reminder: “Don’t forget your phone or belongings in the car.” Not just a little message on the screen no, this is full-on vocal intervention, like the car’s suddenly developed a conscience and doesn’t want me to lose my worldly possessions.
The problem? It happens randomly. I’ve tried to trigger it on purpose left my phone, waved goodbye to the dashboard, even whispered sweet nothings to the infotainment system. Nothing. It’s like trying to summon a cat that doesn’t belong to you.
I scoured the settings. No trace. Asked the dealer. He looked at me like I’d just claimed the car was haunted. Fortunately, I had one of these moments recorded on my iPhone and played it back like I was presenting evidence to MI5. Vindicated but still clueless.
And then, the kicker: he tells me the Terramar is basically a rebadged Tiguan. Not built in Barcelona like the Formentor, but somewhere far less romantic. I felt betrayed. Like discovering your favourite pub is actually a themed chain restaurant.
So has anyone else heard this mysterious voice warning you not to leave your phone behind? Do you know how to activate it? Is there a secret setting? A hidden ritual? A button marked “sorcery”?
Help a fellow motorist out. I’m starting to think my car’s smarter than it lets on.
Now here’s the odd bit: every now and then, the car’s voice assistant pipes up with a very polite but unexpected reminder: “Don’t forget your phone or belongings in the car.” Not just a little message on the screen no, this is full-on vocal intervention, like the car’s suddenly developed a conscience and doesn’t want me to lose my worldly possessions.
The problem? It happens randomly. I’ve tried to trigger it on purpose left my phone, waved goodbye to the dashboard, even whispered sweet nothings to the infotainment system. Nothing. It’s like trying to summon a cat that doesn’t belong to you.
I scoured the settings. No trace. Asked the dealer. He looked at me like I’d just claimed the car was haunted. Fortunately, I had one of these moments recorded on my iPhone and played it back like I was presenting evidence to MI5. Vindicated but still clueless.
And then, the kicker: he tells me the Terramar is basically a rebadged Tiguan. Not built in Barcelona like the Formentor, but somewhere far less romantic. I felt betrayed. Like discovering your favourite pub is actually a themed chain restaurant.
So has anyone else heard this mysterious voice warning you not to leave your phone behind? Do you know how to activate it? Is there a secret setting? A hidden ritual? A button marked “sorcery”?
Help a fellow motorist out. I’m starting to think my car’s smarter than it lets on.
