Haha, fair enough! I think I have discovered why I've got an epc fault, the PCV is shagged...
Would this throw up an epc light? My boost has dropped and the revs are jumping on idle
 
No but it would log a detected air leak fault on the ecu
 
The engine light. But it would be logged as a priority 2 fault so would take some time before it appears.
 
My PCV Valve is knackered, I pulled out the dipstick whilst the engine was running today and the whole engine choked, I think that's why the engine light is on
 
It sounds like you have 2 separate faults, the PCV which doesn't relate to the fault codes in your first post, and the ECU software issue which is what those error codes indicate and would cause the EML and EPC lights to come on.
 
Where are u based mate? Just had same issue and got it fixed a lot cheaper than the £1200 quote from seat! Less than 10% cheaper in fact!
 
This is a known issue from SEAT:

Tell your sealer the following info, and it may solve it.

24S1 (2014557). TPU/ action code