OK Folks I have been holding off on putting this report on line until it got some print media coverage and I think that it's time for you all to have a light hearted giggle at the editorial a good friend made up one afternoon over too many cups of Tea
Editorial: Andrew Ferguson
As the Beatles once sang “In the town where I was born, was a yellow submarine” well technically not the correct words and for the people of Comber, the submarines a Seat “Cowdoba”, giving pretty much the same impact.
From it’s origins as a standard car, not cow format, it’s a humble Seat Cordoba Vario family machine, now almost recognisable in its badgeless state. These standard cars are a rare enough sight on the UK roads without sporting mad cow disease.
The bright yellow colour that this car came from the factory in, wasn’t due to nicotine stains in the paint, but was to celebrate the success of the Seat F2 rally cars in the late 90’s.
Its journey and transformation from our snapper’s workhorse, to this eclectic mix is as much a reflection of the owner’s lifestyle as a major statement on the Irish Dub scene, after the initial shock, becoming a firm and recognisable forum favourite.
Being as individual as they come, this is what modifying is about. Partly because Cordoba estates aren’t modified and rewriting the rules on a budget this car has been made as personal as it has.
Standing out like a streaker on sports day, the body coloured 1000 miglia wheels where a coveted forum in an unrecognisable state and well Bushmills did the rest, with the expert hand of John at Peden Conceptz who offered his assistance in getting a good top coat after Graham had carefully applied the base layers.
Wrapping the roof of a car may not come into everyone’s mind, but fortunately Graham’s mind is slightly warped and it didn’t take long for the Cowdoba to be born, without a calving jack in sight might I add. The engine bay even got a touch of the mad cow when Graham decided, after a few of Arthur G’s finest draughts might I add, that it was time to customise the engine cover.
This car isn’t just about the massive impact during stampedes however. When playing at being a parked car, you’ll notice this cow is sporting as much ink as the prodigy’s Keith Flint, with accessories to match. Don’t be fooled by it’s shiny hide you see at most shows, this cow does more miles than a raging bull in breeding season and it’s undercarriage gets tickled frequently by our Irish tarmac when the terrain gets a little extreme.
The one off centre caps of that cult classic “Stoppit & Tidyup” impeccably painted by Chris from GingaPaint, show how varied the owner’s days become, but when he’s over stimulated with Rockstar Energy, there’s always the gameboy and some Aphex Twin to reduce the panic. Only Chris and a few other close friends dared to look back down Graham’s lens.
Another careful look at the rear shows our cows been branded and is up to date with it’s vaccinations with a “Booshesq” gimp cow, complete with mask, which is also peering from under the bonnet at shows.
Choosing wheels with the conceptual blinkers on can prove fatal to cow’s growth hormones, but luckily this was soon stumped with field hugging coilovers bringing the grass closer and the silo out of bounds. These coils are from the Jamex budget range and are courtesy of Chris Rogan at Autowindsceens and Motorspares in Bangor.
Mooring onto the interior of our “massive attack, minimum budget” Cowdoba you will be glad to hear that the bovine love continues, due to Graham adding full black hide from a mk2 Golf GTi. These seats can often be seen covered in wooden bead seat covers at shows however, which also take the winter chill out.
This cow leads a happy smiley life, just like Graham, only not as random and can be constantly seen smiling from its centre console and through it’s skin colour spectacles.
Being a cow and imitating a bumble bee is quite exciting and in stark contrast to its yellow and black appearance, its stickered rear end is there like all those notches in Finchey’s bedpost. Well, being de-wipered how else is it meant to show its emotions.
With appearance seemingly being deceiving, not that those T-shirts and skate shoes are much to go by, the only methane power that this cows got inside is it’s credible sound system playing whatever’s going on between the ginger ones ears, which most of the time, no one has a clue about.
A Pioneer 12” sub matched to a Kenwood 2ch amp gracefully battles like a Stella fuelled teenager with the 17cm Alpine Type R front components. At the rear Graham added Pioneer Carrozzeria co-ax speakers but this is all kept in order by the Kenwood KDC-W6041U head unit under the influence of Graham’s iPod. Graham was grateful for the
help of the ICE professionals at The Ice Man in Bangor for most of his musical needs.
As mentioned the 600 watts of power are more than a match for the virginal TDi engine, that’s only pleasure is a K&N panel filter. Other subtle body modifications are all OEM+ parts such as smoked side repeaters, privacy glass from the B pillars back, front fog lamps from an
Ibiza GTi model wrapped in yellow laminX, de tango’d front and rear lens’ along with the helping of satin matte black on the chrome front badges aiding this car to a prize worthy of Balmoral best of breed.
In fact, to the extreme shock of Graham, this car won “best exterior” at the annual Performance Car Club’s show in 2009 and has been part of the ReallyMeanSounds club stands all over Irish shows this year, in which RMS have brought home over five “best stand” awards, so obviously the “massive attack, minimum budget” has most certainly caught the eye of those white coated judges.
Semi skimmed retro, meets full fat phunk. Not strictly retro, you gotta milk the phunk, make yourself a phunkshake! This car doesn’t have a road presence; it bursts bright yellow phunkshake!
Thanks To:
Everyone at:
reallymeanounds.com
eBay - The UK's Online Marketplace
Chris at GingaPaint for the airbrushing:
gingapaint.com
Conor Loughran at MotoGlass Belfast: 028 9066 6077
Mark Kane at Comber Valet for his cleaning expertise: 07715 021 699
John at Peden Conceptz for being John: 07876 394 569
The Iceman, Bangor for audio equipment: 02891 461 899
BCS Paint Removal Specialists for shot blasting the wheels: 07989 741 561
Fiona at SignLines of Comber for
sticker help: 02890 449 050
Tom at Rockstar Energy Drink for his continued support:
Rockstar Energy Drink
James at Carnology for tinting: 07763 670 381
Neil at Rockvale Graphics for the gimp cows: 028 9264 8505
Chris at Autowindscreens & Motorspares for the coil overs: 028 9146 0004
Iain Bishop Motorsport for mechanical expertise & suspension geometry set up: 07711 368 550
Stevie Lavry for fitting the Coilovers at short notice and selling me the Leather from his mk2 GTi
Finkle for a lot of the ideas and inspiration
Everyone who smile and laugh when they see the car
Anyone who helped with the car or indeed bullied me into making a unique car, even more unique, you know who you are!
Most importantly, The Bushmills Distillery, for the rest of the inspiration!