right i found those earth wires, they are on both sides but they were tucked behind some carpet, put it on there and it still didnt work..
i got my mate to have a look at it and he had some gadget to see if there was power going to the amp and there was, he then put a wire on the remote cable to the power cable both on the amp and the sub came on
he had a look at the back of the head unit and it was the wiring on the adapter that goes into the head unit and attaches to the car wires, it wasnt wired like it should have been i think he said in that adapter, he got the right blue amp wire and spliced it in the middle (think someone who posted on here mentioned doing that) and he put my remote cable from the amp onto the middle of that and it worked

he taped that on and it works great now
thanks for all the
help guys!