Well I finally managed to get the b*stards on.
I ended up buying 2 215/40/17's for the rear. Took them to the local garage who hacked chunks out of my lovely virginal rims

. Got fed up for a bit, then cracked on and repaired them.
My tips for anyone doing wanting to do their own;
1) Make sure you've got loads of time and are willing to put the effort in.
2) Don't use Halfords paint - it is gash.
3) Make sure you go to a decent tyre place you will treat your rims gently.
4) Take the fr*gging tyres off the rim before painting.
I didn't manage to take any of my own advice, apart from eventually getting enough U-Pol aerosols to open a hole in the ozone layer above Formby.
Pics;
I took my rear spacers off but has anyone got the VRS rims on the rear with the spacers still on?